


Let It Burn

by lila_luscious1



Category: Chicago Fire
Genre: Angst and Feels, Beginnings, Drunk Sex, F/M, Interracial Relationship, Post-Break Up, Romance, Sorrow
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-06
Updated: 2019-08-18
Packaged: 2020-08-10 08:09:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 2,288
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20132176
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lila_luscious1/pseuds/lila_luscious1
Summary: Dawson re-considers her break-up with Mills-at his apartment she states thecase for them to get back together.





	1. I Made A Mistake

**Author's Note:**

  * For [blindsmarcy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/blindsmarcy/gifts), [Primrosie](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Primrosie/gifts), [sramrakha22](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sramrakha22/gifts), [Bacner](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bacner/gifts).

> Chapter1- Dawson and Mills

When Mills answers his doorbell, he's surprised to see Gabriela Dawson standing outside. He looks at her  
without speaking, and once she determines that she will need to initiate any discussion, she says, "Peter-Peter Mills."

He says, simply, "Gaby." One minute passes, then another. Dawson says, "Are you going to ask me in?" 

Mills' reply is just as cryptic as before. "Why? What do you want?"

"Just-to talk-to-to explain." 

"Talk...explain...," Mills mutters. "What about? I'm very clear on your position earlier. VERY CLEAR," he  
repeats, emphatically. 

"Please, Mills," Gaby says, her voice breaking slightly. Her dark eyes seek his out, nearly pleading with him to be heard.

"OK...I'll have a visitor over soon, and so it has to be quick."

Instead of leading her farther into his home, Mills goes a few feet from the door, and stops.

"Can't we sit down?" 

Mills asks, simply (a little coldly), "QUE QUIERES, Gabriela?" 

"I-I...I think I...made a mistake earlier."

"That's a _YOU_problem...anything else?"

Stung, Dawson gulps, then whines, "Mills; don't be like that, _PLEASE_," lifting one hand to swipe at her now-tearing eyes. 

Peter Mills is unmoved. "You need to leave. My visitor should be here any minute."

Gaby stares at him a few seconds, then turns to go. "Can we at least talk before our shift? I'm only asking for a chance to explain...  
Please, Mills. I'm getting there early-will you meet me at 6? Mills?"

"I'll think about it. See ya." He closes the door almost before she is completely clear of the threshold.

As she's about to enter the elevator, she almost runs-into a striking Latina Woman-curvy, long hair, a bit taller than herself, and very  
nicely dressed. As the elevator doors are closing, she spies the Woman head straight for Peter Mills' door.


	2. FUCK ALL Of Them!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dawson is feeling very low...liquor and decision making are NOT a good mix

Alone in her apartment, Gab Dawson holds a beer (her fourth, or is it FIFTH?)...she answers neither her phone,  
nor the ringing of her doorbell (Shay has been by, as well as Severide, and Casey-she can't face any of them, especially  
CASEY)...she's feeling very sorry for herself, and devastated by Mills' treatment of her at his apartment earlier...the  
stereo is on, playing "Song Of The Siren"-This Mortal Coil:

[On the floating, shipless oceans...I did all my best to smile  
'Til your singing eyes and fingers...Drew me loving to your isle  
And you sang, "Sail to me, sail to me  
Let me enfold you...Here I am, here I am  
Waiting to hold you"...Did I dream you dreamed about me?  
Were you here when I was full sail?]

I made ONE MISTAKE, she muses to herself, ONE. Mills is being very unfair about it all-he could've at least listened to  
my explanation...but if I'm being honest, he has every right be be angry-FURIOUS, even...but that WOMAN, what's up with THAT?

She decides, apropo of nothing, to get dressed and find a club, one where no one knows her...the alcohol assures her that the 'fix' for her  
current ills is an anonymous hook-up...why not? Why should she sit here, sad and lonely? Some more drinks, a serviceable guy (or GIRL?)

SOBRES!! PORQUE CHINGAOS NO??!

[Should I stand amid the breakers? Or should I lie with death my bride?  
Hear me sing, "Swim to me, swim to me...Let me enfold you  
Here I am, Here I am...Waiting to hold you"]

FUCK THIS! Lightly buzzing, she showers, then dresses in a slightly slutty "club" outfit. Makeup, hair, and she's ready to head out,  
on the road to TROUBLE...

0311 am The following morning...  
Gaby Dawson is awakened by a splitting headache...seconds later, her alarm clock shreiks on, intensifying the pain in her poor, poor head...  
Bits and pieces of the previous night flicker back into her memory...a couple, man and woman...they are foreign (Moroccans?-for some reason  
she surmises that they are from that region of the world)_RIGHT! They are in the city for some sort of business venture_...she remembers  
A HOTEL (The Four Seasons?)...a very luxurious suite...more champagne, then-the two of them...DOUBLE TEAMING her, tongues...fingers, a very  
large sex-toy...penetrating her orally, vaginally, and anally...the sex is rough, animalistic...the two use her for what seems like hours. BUT...how did she  
get back HERE, to her own bed, her own apartment?

Groaning, she levers herself out of bed and ambles carefully into the bathroom. She reeks of sex, and a gallon or so of coffee will probably be needed to  
set her right again. She showers, tends to the minor injuries from her night of depravity, then finishes her preparations to begin her work shift. Will Mills  
even show up early, for their "talk", she wonders...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Spanish Translation
> 
> Sobres!-Let's Do It/Why Not
> 
> Porque Chingaos No: Why The Fuck Not?
> 
> AN ADDITIONAL EDIT: at the end o the chapter, to reflect what happended  
during her 'mis-adventure' of the night before  



	3. YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN STRAIGHT WITH ME

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mills DOES meet Dawson, at the stationhouse, as requested...the  
result is...imperfect...

Mills arrives at 541 am, to find Dawson waiting for him, in the locker room. No greeting, he merely takes a seat  
on a nearby bench, hands folded, and waits for her to initiate the conversation.

"Thank God, I thought that you might not come," Gaby begins, nervously. I wanna say again, I'm SO, SO SORRY..."

Mills interrupts her: “Are you a LIAR? A person who LIES?”

A few rapid blinks, and Dawson says, “I-I don't-I try not to be…”

“Riiiight…RIGHT…I’m recalling a conversation, not long ago…I asked a you a question-I ASKED IT TWICE…do  
you recall that question?”

“Y-yyes…I recall,” Dawson whispers.

“Question: Should I get out of Casey’s way?” Answer: No…not at all…I’m with YOU, MILLS-I ONLY WANT TO BE  
WITH YOU’…you recall that?”

“Mills…”

Mills interrupts her again. “It’s very simple: you recall that conversation, or you DON’T…you made that statement, or you didn’t.”

“Yes. I said that.” 

“So…let’s move onto the subsequent discussion…I don’t care to go too deeply into THAT ONE, as you might imagine…  
and so I askyou again: ARE YOU A LIAR, OR A PERSON WHO LIES?!.” He’s not shouting, but very close to it.

Flinching, Gaby’s eyes dart about, searching the walls, the ceilings, ANYWHERE, for the correct answer. Finally, after a deep,  
resigned sigh, she has no recourse except to face the truth. “I’m SORRY, Mills…I…I made a terrible, horrible, unforgiveable  
mistake…I DID lie to you, I admit that; knowing the whole time that I wanted to be with Casey; that the whole timeI was waiting for  
him to be free,so that I could get with him. YES…I LIED…Can you…will you be able to forgive me.?”

“I don’t know.”

A deep draught of breath, and the gorgeous Latina uses the palms of both hands to wipe away the tears streaming from her eyes.  
“Does that mean...Could you…someday, forgive me?” Is that possible?”

“I promise nothing.” COLD…CRYPTIC…No sign that he’s at all moved by her distress, by her anguish.

“MILLS, Please!,” she cries, very close to breaking down completely. “Will you please think about it, before deciding?  
You had feelings for me, I KNOW IT…are…are those feelings gone? Did I KILL THEM?”

“I’ll let you know…don’t expect a quick answer…and, understand something, Gaby…”

“Yes?” 

“When we talk again, IF we talk again, I’ll accord you the respect of giving it to you STRAIGHT-NO LIES-  
NO DECIET.”

“OK…I deserve that…we’d better get ready for shift start.” She speaks quietly, in a voice full of contrition.

Mills starts out. “I’ll give you some privacy.”

“You don’t have to-“

He’s GONE.


	4. Can It Get Any WORSE?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A call To Mill's Mother increases Gaby's loneliness and despair

The shift doesn’t go very well for Gabriela Dawson AT ALL…Mills speaks to her only when absolutely necessary, and  
even then, the exchanges were as brief as he’s able to make them. After the shift, he bolts, without showering, clearly to  
avoid even inadvertent contact with her. Shay isn’t very sympathetic, and Antonio is deep cover on an assignment. Talking  
to Casey about it is a BIG HELL NO, and her Mother isn’t answering her calls. Cheif Boden is at a conference, and Severide  
has his own drama to cope with. She feels completely alone in the world,miserable and unworthy. Her despair is such that she feels  
like dying; she DESERVES TO, if her recent actions are anythingto judge her by.

There has to be a way to make Mills understand, to see how truly remorseful she is about decieving a very good and kind Man,  
a FRIEND, who's done nothing but support her, encourage her, who doesn't want to CONTROL HER, the way that Casey  
ultimately did (she finds out too late)...

Desperate for a familiar voice, and suspecting that the number she’s about to dial will neither bring her the empathy she seeks,  
nor be a sounding board for her troubled state of mind, she keys the number anyway (after first dialing information)...

“Mills’ Diner, Ingrid speaking.” _Peter’s Mother_…Gaby pushes on, before she loses her nerve and disconnects. “It’s Gabriela  
Dawson, Mrs. Mills.” “Oh…Gabriela”…Mrs. Mills’ voice has none of the welcoming warmth Dawson is accustomed to hearing from  
her, that is…BEFORE...“I apologize for calling like this, I realize that it’s been years…and…and I can tell by your response that you aren’t  
real happy to hear from me…I can guess why.”

“Yes, of course Peter has discussed the-what happened between the two of you. Not to be rude Ms. Dawson, but what is it that you want,  
please?” (_MS DAWSON_…Here we GO…) Gaby battles to stop from crying as she says, “I understand, Mrs. Mills…I-realize  
that I have no right to ask ANYTHING of you, much less a favor…I just…please will you tell Peter I called, and that I…that I called.”

“Ms Dawson: my Son is a Man who knows his own mind. I can’t persuade him to do anything that he doesn’t want to, and frankly, I wouldn’t  
even if I could. Goodbye, I’ll pass on your message.”

CLICK

Gabriela Dawson stands where she is for long minutes, listening to the ‘blet blet blet blet’ of the dial tone, sounding in her ear.


	5. Please HAVE MERCY ON ME

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Desperate now, Gaby tries to enlist Shay in her quest for redemption

Mills is departing the station lockerrom just as Shay is entering. "Peter Mills", she hails, with a smile.

" 'Sup, Shay...what's good?"

"I need a big, gigantic, really, really, REALLY huge favor, and I can't take no for an answer, I'm telling you now."

Mills is hesitant, suspicious."OK...

"Read this", she says, holding out a folded piece of paper. "It's from Dawson, and YOU WILL AT LEAST READ IT:  
after that, if it doesn't change how you see things, then so be it...READ IT, Peter Mills: Please, for me."

"For you," Mills repeats, taking the note.

Later, after arriving home, he reads:

Peter Mills

I'm wrong to have hurt you the way I did, so I humbly ask for your forgiveness. If I could turn back the hands of time I, of  
course, would, in a second. I honestly, truly never meant to hurt you, I NEVER WOULD, although no one could agree with  
that, based on my actions. Please be kind to me and let's put this behind us. That is a huge ask, I know...I would do anything  
to have your trust again, if you believe nothing else, please believe that. PLEASE, PLEASE HAVE MERCY ON ME, MILLS  
Please forgive me, not beccause I deserve it, _I know that I don't_; but because you are GOOD person, and KIND,  
and because I'll give anything to hear you say 'I still care for you', anything to hear you say 'I forgive you'...I'm DYING, Mills-  
I struggle every minute, of every day, trying to live with the fact that I've hurt a man like you. Find it in your heart to forgive me,  
Mills. I will dedicate every day fro mnow on, to prove myself worthy of it.

Gaby


	6. ONE MORE TRY

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Peter Mills hasn't responded to her note, and he's taken four  
days off. Dawson tries His Mother again, hoping against all  
hope that she can find an ally in her.

"Mrs. Mills-PLEASE DON’T HANG UP…I’m begging you,” Gabriela cries desperately.

She sounds truly distraught, totally lost and at her wit’s end. Mrs. Mills is touched by her words,  
and tone of voice, and her first instinct is to respond compassion (the "Mother" in her); the same instinct  
awakens the need to protect her offspring from harm. She determines to at least her Gaby out...for the moment...

“Ms. Dawson…you DO UNDERSTAND that I’m prepared to do whatever is required to prevent my Son from  
having his emotional state damaged any further by you? That includes advising him to have no contact with you, in  
any form. It would be best for all of us, I believe, for you to leave Peter ALONE-if you care for him as you say that you  
do-Leave my Son BE.”

Gaby breaks down, sobbing like a Motherless Child. “I CAN’T, Mrs. Mills! I think of him all the time, I CRY for him at  
night…I can’t work, or sleep, or eat…PLEASE…PLEASE HELP ME.”

“I can’t let you hurt my Son again, Ms. Dawson.”

“I swear to you that I won’t. I swear on my LIFE that I WILL NOT HURT HIM.”

Mill’s sister breaks into the line: “You’d better not, Gaby…YOU HAD BETTER NOT-  
Because if you DO…I will COME FOR YOU…say that you understand me.”

“Yes…of course…I UNDERSTAND-you won’t have to do that. I promise.”

(A ray of hope?…at last…?...GOD, please, OH PLEASE-just another chance...)

Back to Mrs. Mills. “I’m trusting you, Gabriela…when I speak with Peter later, IF HE ASKS  
MY ADVICE, I’ll suggest that he see you in person. That’s all I can do. Goodbye.”

"Yes...Thank you, thank you so much, Mrs. Mills. All I want is a chance to prove myself. Thank  
you...Goodbye-and goodbye to your daughter."

"Good luck."

**Author's Note:**

> SPANISH TRANSLATION
> 
> Que Quieres: What Do You Want (informal)


End file.
